Kernunrex

Moving to http://six-weeks-of-halloween.blogspot.com/

2010-08-30T11:25:00.002-04:00

I seem to have lost that chronocinethon energy I used to have (kids'll do that to you), so I'm closing up shop here.

Sean, thank you for your contributions. Thanks also to the readers who were kind enough to post comments: Zack, Mark, gammer73...

Yet, Six Weeks of Halloween will live on. Three weeks from today, join me at my new blog for my annual 42-day celebration of my favorite holiday.

Six Weeks of Halloween

http://six-weeks-of-halloween.blogspot.com/

Guest OLR: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

2010-08-18T21:42:00.003-04:00

A super-fast and exciting action comedy built entirely on late 80's/early 90's nerd service that sorta loses its fight-scene metaphor sharpness in the last act. (8/10)

d. Edgar Wright

Guest OLR: Inception (2010)

2010-07-17T16:26:00.002-04:00

I came. (9/10)

d. Christopher Nolan

Guest OLR: Yattaman (2009)

2010-05-10T00:45:00.002-04:00

Miike has officially gone certifiably insane, and it's great. (7/10)

d. Takashi Miike

Guest OLR: Iron Man 2 (2010)

2010-05-10T00:42:00.001-04:00

Sadly, the best part was seeing the newest Inception trailer beforehand. (6/10)

d. Jon Favreau

OLR: The Aristocrats (2005)

2010-05-03T13:45:00.002-04:00

The cursory glance at the boundary-crossing, taboo-breaking nature of the joke should've been the focus of the whole film; instead, we get 88 minutes of boringly similar scatological jokes from two dozen comedians. (4/10)

d. Paul Provenza

OLR: They Bite (1996)

2010-04-30T23:59:00.000-04:00

A little too draggy to be a truly great bad movie. (6/10)

d. Brett Piper

OLR: D.C. Cab (1983)

2010-04-30T16:07:00.003-04:00

Dumb fun with a nicely insane Gary Busey, angry-good-hearted Mr. T and a young, goofy-lookin' Adam Baldwin. (7/10)

d. Joel Schumacher

OLR: Killdozer (1974)

2010-04-30T13:44:00.001-04:00

Nothing like watching a cheezy TV movie about an improbably intelligent bulldozer on lazy afternoon. (6/10)

d. Jerry London

OLR: The Mack (1973)

2010-04-22T08:17:00.001-04:00

Yes, the pimp outfits and Players' Ball and huge Cadillacs were awesome, but a tighter story would've been nice, too. (6/10)

d. Michael Campus

OLR: The Slammin' Salmon (2009)

2010-04-20T18:04:00.001-04:00

Michael Clarke Duncan is hilarious, but the film lacks the spark of zaniness found in previous BL movies. (6/10)

d. Kevin Heffernan

OLR: Step Brothers (2008)

2010-04-18T22:21:00.001-04:00

Quoted all the following day between a friend and I after watching it late the night before. (8/10)

d. Adam McKay

Guest OLR: Pandorum (2009)

2010-04-18T15:03:00.002-04:00

Hollywood's response to Eden Log; unstable plot, poor creature design, style run-amok, shitty ending, whole thing just makes you wish you were playing Dead Space instead, etc. (5/10)

d. Christian Alvart

OLR: The Great White Hype (1996)

2010-04-16T13:01:00.001-04:00

There's actually a few deeper thoughts on racism in here than I'd've thought. (6/10)

d. Reginald Hudlin

OLR: Tyson (2008)

2010-04-12T00:43:00.001-04:00

You would think 90 minutes of Tyson talking about himself might not make for a good documentary, but you'd be wrong. (7/10)

d. James Toback

OLR: Sleeping Beauty (1959)

2010-04-11T15:57:00.007-04:00

Beautiful animation coupled with a slow story lacking much excitement or comedy. (6/10)

d. Clyde Geronimi

OLR: The Hurt Locker (2008)

2010-04-11T15:57:00.005-04:00

It conveys very well -- I'm guessing, anyway -- the extreme stresses soldiers experience in modern warfare and how those stresses affect different personalities. (8/10)

d. Kathryn Bigelow

OLR: Rocky IV (1985)

2010-04-11T15:57:00.002-04:00

One of those quintessential '80s movies any fan of the decade must watch and enjoy. (7/10)

d. Sylvester Stallone

OLR: Short Circuit (1986)

2010-04-03T23:00:00.001-04:00

Just a cheezy '80s comedy, but that robot design is great. (6/10)

d. John Badham

OLR: Rocky III (1982)

2010-04-03T21:00:00.002-04:00

Worth it just to witness Mr. T pitying his very first fool. (7/10)

d. Sylvester Stallone

OLR: Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)

2010-03-23T12:37:00.001-04:00

Die Hard welded to a '90s comedy, but without the laughs of either. (5/10)

d. Steve Carr

OLR: El laberinto del fauno (2006)

2010-03-22T13:30:00.002-04:00

Brutal and beautiful, but mostly brutal. (8/10)

d. Guillermo del Toro

OLR: The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters (2007)

2010-03-22T13:25:00.002-04:00

A textbook example of how to create heroes and villains in documentaries. (7/10)

d. Seth Gordon

OLR: Punisher: War Zone (2008)

2010-03-19T23:30:00.000-04:00

I'm bummed this didn't do well, as I really want to see more Ray Stevenson Punisher. (8/10)

d. Lexi Alexander

OLR: Mystery Science Theater 3000: "The Final Sacrifice" (1998)

2010-03-19T21:30:00.001-04:00

I think I enjoy the bad movieness of it more than the riffing, which felt light. (7/10)

d. Tjardus Greidanus & Kevin Murphy

OLR: Airplane! (1980)

2010-03-15T22:00:00.001-04:00

I think I watch these old comedies just to see their classic lines recited in context for once. (7/10)

d. Jim Abrahams & David Zucker & Jerry Zucker

OLR: Black Dynamite (2009)

2010-03-14T01:00:00.002-05:00

This is how perfect a parody this is: my friend thought this really was a '70s blaxploitation movie until the middle of the film. (8/10)

d. Scott Sanders

OLR: Rocky II (1979)

2010-03-13T22:30:00.001-05:00

Takes a while to get there, but the fight at the end is excellent. (7/10)

d. Sylvester Stallone

OLR: The Crazies (1973)

2010-03-06T23:30:00.000-05:00

Though I wouldn't wish Dawn of the Dead away, it'd've been interesting to have seen Romero follow this line of though about humans reacting to the end of polite society -- whether due to zombies or disease -- in further horror movies. (8/10)

d. George A. Romero

OLR: Rocky (1976)

2010-03-06T21:00:00.000-05:00

Rocky's semi-brain-damaged babbling is inexplicably endearing. (8/10)

d. John G. Avildsen

OLR: The Nines (2007)

2010-03-06T13:52:00.001-05:00

An original idea that kept me guessing, plus there was some social commentary buried in here to chew on too. (7/10)

d. John August

OLR: Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy (1996)

2010-03-02T13:18:00.001-05:00

The film's biggest problem was the unfocused and padded script, but I suppose this shouldn't be a shock coming from folks only used to writing 5 minutes sketches. (6/10)

d. Kelly Makin

OLR: Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths (2010)

2010-02-24T12:08:00.001-05:00

Fun battles and I'm never tired of the parallel Earths idea, but they really need to give the story some more time on these things. (7/10)

d. Sam Liu & Lauren Montgomery

OLR: The Human Tornado (1976)

2010-02-21T00:03:00.002-05:00

Silly and ass-kicking, full of raps and kung fu, sometimes surreal with nudity of all kinds everywhere: blaxploitation don't get better than this. (9/10)

d. Cliff Roquemore

OLR: Cinematic Titanic Live: "East Meets Watts" (2009)

2010-02-20T20:00:00.001-05:00

I think I enjoyed this even more after having seen the Titans riffing live the previous day. (8/10)

d. Al Adamson & Sharp-Ford

OLR: Cinematic Titanic Live: "Samson and the Seven Miracles of the World" (2010)

2010-02-20T01:00:00.002-05:00

I never was a huge fan of the Hercules movies from seasons 4 and 5 of MST3K, and this riffing falls right into line with those. (7/10)

d. Riccardo Freda

OLR: Cinematic Titanic Live: "War of the Insects" (2010)

2010-02-19T21:00:00.002-05:00

Despite the Royal Oak Music Theatre's awful sound and horrible seating -- and perhaps helped by the fact that the jokes were being created before my very eyes by the Titans themselves -- this was the absolute funniest Cinematic Titanic yet. (9/10)

d. Kazui Nihonmatsu

OLR: The House of the Devil (2009)

2010-02-15T18:26:00.001-05:00

Suffers a lot of the same flaws as the vintage films it's imitating -- takes forever to get going, the characters do stupid things, the plot is nonsense -- but these are also some of things that make the film strangely fascinating to watch. (7/10)

d. Ti West

OLR: Moon (2009)

2010-02-15T18:25:00.001-05:00

Sam Rockwell does a helluva job carrying this film by himself. (8/10)

d. Duncan Jones

Guest OLR: A Serious Man (2009)

2010-02-09T23:44:00.002-05:00

A self-constructed suburban nightmare about unstoppable probability... I think... (7/10)

d. Joel Coen & Ethan Coen

OLR: Cinematic Titanic Live: "East Meets Watts" (2009)

2010-02-08T13:30:00.004-05:00

It's about time the gang tackled a blaxploitation flick (I have mixed feelings about the audience laughter in this live disc: sometimes it enhanced the experience and sometimes it got in the way of the jokes). (8/10)

d. Al Adamson & Sharp-Ford

OLR: Survive Style 5+ (2004)

2010-02-08T13:28:00.001-05:00

Kind of the Japanese version of Magnolia, but more wacky and less sappy. (7/10)

d. Gen Sekiguchi

OLR: Battlestar Galactica (2003): "The Plan" (2009)

2010-02-06T14:55:00.001-05:00

Half clip show, half utterly pointless exploration of what the Cylons were doing in the fleet during the first two seasons. (5/10)

d. Edward James Olmos

Guest OLR: Z (1969)

2010-02-05T19:09:00.002-05:00

It got a whole lot better after it started using things like proof and evidence to establish lines of culpability. (6/10)

d. Costa-Gravas

OLR: Battlestar Galactica (2003): "Daybreak: Part 2" (2009)

2010-02-04T23:30:00.001-05:00

A satisfying ending to one of the best TV shows ever made. (8/10)

d. Michael Rymer

OLR: Inglourious Basterds (2009)

2010-01-31T23:42:00.001-05:00

Great characters, multilingual dialogue and plot; Tarantino completely redeems himself for the Death Proof misfire. (8/10)

d. Quentin Tarantino

OLR: Battlestar Galactica (2003): "Razor" (2007)

2010-01-24T23:00:00.001-05:00

I didn't feel I really needed to see in person the crap that went down on the Pegasus, but I loved the glimpses of the first Cylon war. (7/10)

d. Félix Enríquez Alcalá

OLR: Three the Hard Way (1974)

2010-01-23T23:30:00.001-05:00

Jim Brown, Fred Williamson and Jim Kelly are all bad-asses, no doubt, but I think the topless female torturers of varying races sold the movie for me. (7/10)

d. Gordon Parks Jr.

OLR: The Hangover (2009)

2010-01-23T22:00:00.000-05:00

Based on what people'd told me, I expected to be gasping for breath from laughing so hard... but not really so much. (7/10)

d. Todd Phillips

OLR: Pontypool (2008)

2010-01-16T22:00:00.001-05:00

Lightly dozing in the middle didn't help me understand the plot, but I think I liked it. (7/10)

d. Bruce McDonald

OLR: Extract (2009)

2010-01-16T20:00:00.001-05:00

It's Mike Judge comedy, except with no teeth and nothing much to say. (6/10)

d. Mike Judge

OLR: Battlestar Galactica (2003): "Lay Down Your Burdens: Part 2" (2006)

2010-01-15T22:44:00.000-05:00

I absolutely love the major change of direction at the end of the show. (8/10)

d. Michael Rymer

OLR: Black Devil Doll (2009)

2010-01-10T18:54:00.003-05:00

I think I caught chlamydia just by watching this movie, due to the high-class "actresses" involved (one extra point for acidic puppet diarrhea). (6/10)

d. Jonathan Lewis

OLR: Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (2007)

2010-01-10T18:54:00.002-05:00

It's really necessary to have seen Walk the Line to get many of the jokes. (7/10)

d. Jake Kasdan

OLR: Speed Racer (2008)

2010-01-05T11:02:00.000-05:00

Like sledding down a good hill while eating a deluxe ice cream sundae. (8/10)

d. Andy Wachowski & Larry Wachowski

OLR: Battlestar Galactica (2003)

2010-01-02T12:02:00.003-05:00

Excellently sets up a series that can explore -- and I hope it does -- multiple interesting storylines filled with great moral and philosophical questions. (8/10)

d. Michael Rymer

OLR: Office Space (1999)

2009-12-31T22:00:00.001-05:00

Not the uproarious comedy the Internet lead me to believe, but funny enough (Mary's very first movie, though she ate and slept through it and can't focus far enough away to see the screen anyway). (7/10)

d. Mike Judge

[198 movies watched in 2009]

OLR: Up (2009)

2009-12-25T23:15:00.001-05:00

Unfair or not, I have to say I prefer toys, robots, fish, superheroes and rats to old men. (7/10)

d. Pete Docter & Bob Peterson

OLR: A Christmas Carol (1999)

2009-12-23T22:58:00.003-05:00

In this version, I particularly liked the idea that Scrooge was rusty at being nice and having fun at the end of the story. (8/10)

d. David Hugh Jones

[Having watched 10 versions of this story during the holiday season, I'd rank them like this:

1984 - George C. Scott
1999 - Patrick Stewart
1951 - Alastair Sim
1988 - Bill Murray
1938 - Reginald Owen
1983 - Scrooge McDuck
1992 - Michael Caine
1971 - Albert Finney
1935 - Seymour Hicks
1979 - Yosemite Sam

]

OLR: The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

2009-12-23T08:53:00.001-05:00

Lacks a certain energy I'd expect from a Muppet movie. (6/10)

d. Brian Henson

OLR: Scrooged (1988)

2009-12-22T13:56:00.001-05:00

What I really want to see is that Christmas Carol in the movie starring Buddy Hackett, Jamie Farr and Mary Lou Retton. (8/10)

d. Richard Donner

OLR: A Christmas Carol (1984)

2009-12-21T00:05:00.001-05:00

Possibly it's nostalgia talking, but George C. Scott will always be my Scrooge. (8/10)

d. Clive Donner

OLR: Jack Frost (1996)

2009-12-19T12:58:00.002-05:00

This may sound silly for such a movie, but I think my main problem was that the killer snowman's dialogue was just a wee too cheezy (apropos of absolutely nothing: "Don't eat the yellow snow!"), making me wince when I should be enjoying the good-badness of the whole thing. (6/10)

d. Michael Cooney

OLR: Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

2009-12-18T16:23:00.001-05:00

If a Sandman movie has to be made, I now want del Toro to direct it. (8/10)

d. Guillermo del Toro

OLR: Black Christmas (2006)

2009-12-15T09:59:00.002-05:00

Props to the cinematographer for the colorful scenes that happily distracted me from the boring, poorly-achieved slasher plot. (5/10)

d. Glen Morgan

OLR: Scrooge (1971)

2009-12-13T22:39:00.002-05:00

Lavish production design can't rescue the miscasting and annoying singing. (6/10)

d. Ronald Neame

OLR: El día de la bestia (1995)

2009-12-12T22:30:00.003-05:00

A better Antichrist movie than The Omen if only because it features a priest rocking out to satanic heavy metal. (7/10)

d. Álex de la Iglesia

OLR: Santa's Slay (2005)

2009-12-12T22:29:00.001-05:00

Fun stuff, but it needed more Bill Goldberg kicking butt. (6/10)

d. David Steiman

OLR: Scrooge (1951)

2009-12-12T19:03:00.002-05:00

I love Alastair Sim's subtle performance as evil Scrooge in the beginning of the film and Michael Hordern's waling Marley is perhaps the best ever. (8/10)

d. Brian Desmond Hurst

OLR: Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

2009-12-11T11:03:00.002-05:00

Could'a been a good-bad movie -- the hammy Eric "Garbage Day" Freeman is awesome -- had we not been forced to re-watch a half hour of the first flick before getting to anything new. (5/10)

d. Lee Harry

Guest OLR: Redacted (2007)

2009-12-10T17:39:00.001-05:00

Casualties of War in Iraq with non-proffesionals. (4/10)

d. Brian de Palma

Guest OLR: The Black Dahlia (2006)

2009-12-10T17:37:00.004-05:00

An expensive-looking production dedicated to an unfocused script and de Palma's usual sloppiness. (5/10)

d. Brian de Palma

OLR: A Christmas Carol (1938)

2009-12-09T11:35:00.000-05:00

Possibly the happiest version of this story I've ever seen, though I still liked Reginald Owen's performance despite his too-early transformation during the second spirit's visit. (7/10)

d. Edwin L. Marin

OLR: Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

2009-12-05T10:22:00.001-05:00

A good ole '80s slasher flick wrapped up in Christmas cheer (I got an extra kick out of seeing the Christmas toys from when I was 7 on the shelves of the toy store). (7/10)

d. Charles E. Sellier Jr.

OLR: Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)

2009-12-05T10:13:00.003-05:00

Some of the Santa kills were well done and the manner in which the killer was dispatched at the end was unexpected, but the film is kind of a mess otherwise. (6/10)

d. Edmund Purdom & Derek Ford & Ray Selfe

OLR: You Better Watch Out (1980)

2009-12-04T00:04:00.001-05:00

Good direction and a great performance from Brandon Maggart save what would otherwise be a relatively lifeless Christmas horror movie. (7/10)

d. Lewis Jackson

Guest OLR: Femme Fatale (2002)

2009-12-01T03:02:00.004-05:00

Many half-baked ideas converging at a location far from terrible, somehow. (6/10)

d. Brian de Palma

Guest OLR: Mission to Mars (2000)

2009-12-01T02:58:00.002-05:00

Okay, well, he can confidently film something in space, at least. (3/10)

d. Brian de Palma

OLR: Black Christmas (1974)

2009-11-30T00:23:00.001-05:00

It occurs to me that they don't make understated slasher flicks like this anymore and that's a shame. (7/10)

d. Bob Clark

OLR: Scrooge (1935)

2009-11-28T21:56:00.001-05:00

Man, Seymour Hicks is just awful as Scrooge once Scrooge stops being an a-hole. (6/10)

d. Henry Edwards

OLR: Star Trek (2009)

2009-11-26T22:00:00.001-05:00

Though not possessed of a deep science fiction plot by any stretch, it is just the big ball of fun the franchise needed at this time. (8/10)

d. J.J. Abrams

Guest OLR: Snake Eyes (1998)

2009-11-24T02:41:00.001-05:00

The sneaking suspicion that you're watching a bad movie won't hit you until you're about halfway through. (4/10)

d. Brian de Palma

Guest OLR: Mission: Impossible (1996)

2009-11-23T00:40:00.004-05:00

Well-staged sequences sometimes, but oddly cold and unengaging most of the time. (6/10)

d. Brian de Palma

OLR: El topo (1970)

2009-11-16T12:24:00.001-05:00

I'm gonna need to watch this again when I'm more awake, but I don't know if that'll help or hurt the experience. (6/10)

d. Alejandro Jodorowsky

OLR: Appaloosa (2008)

2009-11-16T12:22:00.002-05:00

A fresh take on the "good gunfighters clean up the town" cliche. (7/10)

d. Ed Harris

OLR: Superman/Batman: Public Enemies (2009)

2009-11-12T23:23:00.002-05:00

Clancy Brown, Kevin Conroy and Tim Daly back as voices with Superman and Batman beating the crap out of people… what's not to like? (7/10)

d. Sam Liu

OLR: The Third Man (1949)

2009-11-11T08:51:00.001-05:00

Overrated, but I have to admit Orson Welles is great and the photography is beautiful. (7/10)

d. Carol Reed

Guest OLR: Carlito's Way (1993)

2009-11-10T21:07:00.003-05:00

The anti-Scarface in that the acting/directing/writing are all top-notch and characters don't travel miles out of their way to do something stupid. (7/10)

d. Brian de Palma

OLR: Hot Fuzz (2007)

2009-11-10T09:14:00.002-05:00

The action sequences at the end are very entertaining, but it takes quite a while to get there. (7/10)

d. Edgar Wright

OLR: Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father (2008)

2009-11-10T09:12:00.001-05:00

This is one helluva documentary. (9/10)

d. Kurt Kuenne

OLR: Serenity (2005)

2009-11-09T08:42:00.001-05:00

Brought an intensity and large scale to the series the TV show likely couldn't have achieved. (8/10)

d. Joss Whedon

OLR: Step Brothers (2008)

2009-11-07T08:22:00.001-05:00

Some pure, stupid fun that had me laughing harder than I have in a while. (8/10)

d. Adam McKay

OLR: The Spirit (2008)

2009-11-07T08:19:00.002-05:00

This had the potential to be kitschy fun, but it's sorely lacking in action and too full-up on dialog. (6/10)

d. Frank Miller

OLR: Firefly: "Serenity" (2002)

2009-11-02T17:50:00.003-05:00

Illustrates the world the series is going to inhabit nicely and I see a lot of potential, but I wasn't blown away like the fanboys promised. (7/10)

d. Joss Whedon

6WH: October 31st HALLOWEEN

2009-10-31T23:59:00.012-04:00

Happy Halloween! Today was a good day. Ate some farmer's market pumpkin pie. Finally convinced my daughter to wear her costume and got some good photos. Carved some pumpkins. Got more trick 'r treaters to the house than ever and likely will be known as "the guy who will let you take a giant handful of candy." And, naturally, I watched some horror movies:

Merrie Melodies: "Scaredy Cat" (1948)
nine inch nails: "the perfect drug" (1997)
The Simpsons: "Treehouse of Horror VI: Attack of the 50 Ft. Eyesores" (1995)

Event Horizon (1997) directed by Paul W.S. Anderson
From IMDb's trivia on this movie: "Paramount didn't officially greenlight the film until 10 weeks before production was due to begin. This meant that the production design was unnecessarily rushed and was the reason why many leading production designers turned the film down." Damn, I hope production designer Joseph Bennett got some kind of award for this film, then. The design of the Event Horizon is fantastic. It's better, I'm willing to say, than the Nostromo, the only other haunted cathedral-like spaceship I can think of. From the cruel, stainless steel medical bay to the medieval-looking gravity drive room to the subtly coffin-shaped doors, it's all made to unnerve.

The movie itself is a nice Haunting meets Hellraiser slice of sci-fi horror. A few of the lines get a little cheezy (describing the dimension the EH travels through as "pure evil" is pushing things), but the cruelty of the ship on its occupants makes up for this for the most part. I dig the recurring theme of characters scooping out their own eyes because they can't handle the horrors they've seen. A bit lovecraftian, that. (7/10)

Merrie Melodies: "Claws for Alarm" (1954)
VAST: "Pretty When You Cry" (1998)
The Simpsons: "Treehouse of Horror V: The Shinning" (1994)

Night of the Creeps: Director's Cut (1986) directed by Fred Dekker
I'd somehow missed seeing this one for all these years. I love Monster Squad, but I guess I never looked up what other movies Dekker made back in the day. Based on the love Creeps gets from folks in horrorland, I blind-bought the blu-ray this week just to watch on Halloween. I was not disappointed; it fits in well with the rest of my '80s horror collection.

Man, Tom Atkins kicks ass in this one. Creeps easily displaces Halloween 3 and The Fog as my favorite of his films. You can tell he had a blast playing Detective Cameron in this movie. I should answer the phone at work with "thrill me."

I think part of the reason folks like this one -- outside of the Atkin's Cameron and the awesome zombies-with-space-slugs-in-their-brains thing -- is that it's a geek wish-fulfillment tale. The dorky guy not only gets the girl in the end, but he gets to roast douchebag frat guys with a flamethrower. What's not to love? (8/10)

Merrie Melodies: "Jumpin' Jupiter" (1955)
Rob Zombie: "American Witch (animated)" (2006)
The Simpsons: "Treehouse of Horror: The Raven" (1990)

The Simpsons: "Treehouse of Horror XX" (2009) directed by Mike B. Anderson & Matthew Schofield
Wow! A Simpsons halloween special airs before halloween? Will wonders ever cease? Maybe due to that fact alone, this was the best "Treehouse" in many years. The first segment, "Dial 'M' for Murder or Press '#' to Return to Main Menu," obviously parodied Hitchcock. It was also done in black and white, which I don't think they've ever done in a halloween episode before. It looked good. There were tons and tons of Hitch references to chew on in this one. I loved it. "Don't Have a Cow Mankind" parodied 28 Days Later. It was nice to have another zombie tale added to the "Treehouse" canon. I watch "Dial 'Z' for Zombie" every Halloween. The final segment, "There's No Business Like Moe Business," I wasn't so keen on. It's a musical vaguely inspired by Sweeney Todd and not terribly horror-ish, though the idea of blood-infused beer is pretty gross. (7/10)

The Real Ghostbusters: "When Halloween Was Forever" (1986) directed by Richard Raynis
Ah, The Real Ghostbusters: one of the reasons I'm a horror fan. As a nine-year-old kid watching this show, I was blown away. Other than Slimer, it took its ghostly subject quite seriously for a Saturday morning cartoon. This episode is one that has always stuck in my mind since then. Watching it 23 years later, I was surprised at how much I remembered. Ah, memories... (7/10)

Halloween (1978) directed by John Carpenter
For the eleventh year in a row, I watched Halloween. I think it's pretty damned close to a perfect horror movie. This year, I really paid attention to the theme of watching. In the beginning of the movie, Carpenter puts Myer's clown mask over the camera lens and forces the audience to be him as he kills his sister. Though the rest of the movie is masked-lens-free, I don't think the audience ever stops seeing things through the killer's eyes. Often, Carpenter will pull way, way back and watches, for example, the teen-aged girls walking home from school from a distance. As the audience, we're voyeuristically spying on these future victims in exactly the same way Myers has been doing in the film.

By the time I got to this film, it was nearly 3 in the morning (pre-fall back). Watching the movie while drifting in and out of a light doze is fun. While my eyes were closed, my brain would go off on tangents related to the film. Then, I would snap awake and have to readjust my thoughts as to where the film really is. Kinda surreal. (9/10)

It was good six weeks. I managed to watch 55 movies over the 42 days. That beats the hell out of any of the previous six years I've been doing this. I got caught up on a lot of this decade's horror movies I hadn't gotten around to seeing yet. That feels good. Still, I haven't seen any of the Underworld, Resident Evil or Sam Raimi's Ghost House films yet. Ah well. Next year's only 46 weeks away. For now, I'm looking forward to watching some non-scary shows. Firefly and Serenity, here I come...

R2 and Obi-Wan Hanging Out

6WH: October 30th

2009-10-30T23:59:00.005-04:00

Hatchet (2006) directed by Adam Green
This is pretty much a Friday the 13th movie without the hockey mask, but with its tongue more firmly planted in check than that series. Kane Hodder, who played Jason more than anyone, portrays the mutant, backwoods killer in this film. Like Jason, he's super-strong, unkillable and has a penchant for creative killing. The victims -- a large group of people taking a nighttime swamp tour near New Orleans -- are entertaining characters to watch even when they don't have a belt sander being applied to their face. Hatchet's just some good, old-school slasher fun. (7/10)

The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (2009) directed by Rob Zombie
I can't say that when the trailer (below) was released, I was super-interested in watching this. It looked like it might be in the same genre as your typical lame Comedy Central cartoon. Color me surprised when it turned out to be much better than expected. It's closer to a modern day Bob Clampett cartoon, except with boobies and swearing and werewolves getting silver dildos shoved into their hearts. I thought it was a lot of fun. I can certainly see other folks absolutely hating it, though. It's one of those shows that, if it doesn't speak to your sense of humor, will be torturously bad. (7/10)

Today at work was costume day. Well, for me and about three other people I saw (a bumblebee, a cat and a female football player). It's always fascinating the things people to say to you when you walk around as a pop culture icon for eight hours in a public place. I was called Han Solo, Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, a wizard, a monk and, surprisingly, I was identified correctly as Obi-Wan Kenobi several times. A couple of people asked me if I was a member of the 501st (I'm not...). That question fascinated me; I never considered that there were hardcore closet Star Wars fans walking around where I work. I was surprised by the number of women who really liked the costume. I generally don't think of Star Wars as something ladies would like in particular, just due to the fact that there are only two strong females in the entire series. I'm very wrong on that point. Lots of folks took cameraphone pictures of me and sent the pictures to their Star Wars fan friends. And, I got tons of compliments throughout the day. The costume turned out pretty good, I think. If you want your own Jedi costume, talk to this lady. She's incredibly nice and will sew you a costume to your measurements.

The Force Makes Me Happy, Apparently

6WH: October 29th

2009-10-29T23:59:00.001-04:00

Blood: The Last Vampire (2009) directed by Chris Nahon
A damned pretty movie to look at. There are nighttime fights in neon-bathed city streets. There's a forest fight with rustling leaves disguising ninjas. The final battle takes place in a pastel dreamworld mimicking the past. A lot of the film looks like an anime or manga come to life, which I suspect was one of the goals of the filmmakers. Sadly, a lot of this beauty was, for me, marred by some absolutely wretched, horrible, worst-I've-ever-seen CGI blood effects. I'm almost tempted to think this was some kind of bizarre stylistic choice on a part of the filmmakers. When the blood comes out of someone's wound, it looks like they have a bubble machine in them. The blood shoots out in little round globules, just dainty bubbles floating in the air. Remember how the klingon blood looks in Star Trek VI when it was floating around in microgravity? That's exactly what the CGI blood looks like it this film.

Outside of the look, the story is pretty bog-standard for this sort of thing. Demons are invading the earth and only the vampire Saya, working with the CIA, can stop them. It a complete shock, it turns out she's related to the lead demon. Though Saya's battles with the demons are very entertaining to watch -- they're up their with The Matrix movies -- that's ultimately all the film has to offer. (6/10)

6WH: October 28th

2009-10-28T23:59:00.005-04:00

Slaughter (2009) directed by Stewart Hopewell
This film's big trick is that it teases the audience with the idea that a deranged farmer is killing his daughter Lola's one-night stands, when it's actually Lola doing the murdering. That's fine. It's just that Lola's evil side comes absolutely out of nowhere. I think actress Lucy Holt should've added some quirks to her portrayal of Lola. Just a few minor indications that Lola was not quite right in the head would've helped in the transition from the first 2/3rds of the movie to the final 1/3rd. As it stands, she's pretty much the Krusty the Clown doll from that Simpsons Halloween episode: a switch on her back gets flipped in the middle of the movie from good to evil. The movie attempts to flashback and explain what Lola's ultimate evil plan was, but it doesn't really make much sense when you think about it. Really, everything about the movie comes across as ham-handed and poorly thought out. (4/10)

Du saram-yida (2007) directed by Ki-hwan Oh
Voices, like every other East Asian horror movie I've seen lately, just doesn't work for me. I suspect there's a cultural difference at play here. Folks on that side of the Pacific Ocean seem to find ghosts and curses supremely scary subjects. I can't say that I do. I suppose Poltergeist was effective... when I was a kid.

In this one, there's a curse going around that causes people to snap and kill people their own family members or friends. The main character has to survive attacks from her schoolmates, mom and boyfriend before she finally succumbs to the curse herself. The curse, by the way, is personified as a creepy-looking kid. I don't think we're supposed to realize that the main character is the only one who can see and talk to him until the end, but it was pretty obvious to me he was a Tyler Durden right away. The curse is also sometimes shown as a burned-up pair of hands or a face popping into the main characters field of the view suddenly. These shots seem to exist simply to add some traditional horror movie shocks to the film, as they don't appear to have anything to do with anything.

All that aside, the movie is massively boring. Once we learn the curse means you can't trust anyone, it becomes obvious that everyone the main character encounters is going to try to kill her. There's not much tension in a horror film when you know what's coming. (5/10)

And that gets me caught up with three years of Horrorfest movies. Horrorfest III was an improvement over the previous two years. This time around, there were three films -- one more than usual -- that I found decent. The Brøken, The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations and From Within were all worth watching. Hey, at this rate, fully half of Horrorfest V will be enjoyable!

6WH: October 27th

2009-10-27T23:59:00.006-04:00

Perkins' 14 (2009) directed by Craig S inger
We seem to be going to greater and greater lengths to make non-zombie zombie movies these days, I see. First we had disease as in 28 Days Later and now we've got brainwashed kids hopped up on PCP. Pretty soon we're going to swing back around to where it all began and it'll be voodoo drugs again.

Horrorfest III had been on a pretty good streak lately. I was wondering the next completely crappy movie might show up. The premise behind the film isn't bad. A man kidnaps 14 kids from families in his home town and keeps them drugged and brainwashed for ten years. They escape from his house and start massacring the folks in town, including their own family members. We hardly see any of this, though. The film is so focused on the police officer main character, we're never allowed to see how the town is reacting to this nightmarish invasion. As far as we can tell, the movie should be called Perkins' 3: Feral Children vs. Morons in a Police Station.

Bad acting, bad plotting, a couple of good gore F/X. It's not really worth me thinking about any more than this. (4/10)

After the crappy movie, I decided to read every Halloween (the movie) comic book ever written:

Halloween, Halloween II: The Blackest Eyes, Halloween III: The Devil's Eyes (Chaos, 2000-2001)
Halloween: One Good Scare (halloweencomics.com, 2003)
Halloween: Autopsis (Paranormal Pictures, 2006)
Halloween: Nightdance #1-4 (Devil's Due, 2008)
Halloween: Sam (halloweencomics.com, 2008)
Halloween: 30 Years of Terror (Devil's Due, 2008)
Halloween: The First Death of Laurie Strode #1-2 (Devil's Due, 2008)
Halloween: White Ghost (halloweencomics.com, 2009)

The Chaos comics attempt to connect the continuities of H6 and H20. It's a noble effort, but Busta Rhymes and H8 kick all of that work in the nuts. Numbers 2-7 were written by Stefan Hutchinson. Man, he's a great horror comic writer who really understands the Halloween universe (he should, he directed a documentary about it). He gets right into the psychology of his protagonists in a manner rarely seen in horror comics. I can't say the same about Greg Mitchell's "White Ghost," which fills in the incredibly important backstory of the ill-fated mechanic Michael Myers obtained his coveralls from (seen in the first movie as a corpse for all of 3 seconds). It's too bad Devil's Due's "restructuring" has seemingly killed their Halloween comic line (it's been a year and still no issue #3 of TFDoLS). I was looking forward to more from Hutchinson.

6WH: October 26th

2009-10-26T23:59:00.004-04:00

Dying Breed (2008) directed by Jody Dwyer
You know, I don't think I've ever seen Tasmania before. I watched a lot of PBS as a kid, but I don't ever remember seeing any video of this island (I don't think Bugs Bunny cartoons count). More than anything about this movie, I enjoyed seeing a place I've never seen before. It looks to me like Tasmania has a lot in common with the Pacific Northwest. Or, they could've just had some bad weather luck during their filming schedule, I suppose. It's beautiful, anyway.

I've discovered I have a low tolerance for stupidity in horror movies. If a main character makes an obviously idiotic choice -- like one does here by freaking out on the ground and refusing to run when there are crazy people in the area -- I lose all sympathy for them. Sympathy/empathy is the absolute key to a good horror movie. For something to scare or disturb you, you're going to need to empathize with the folks being harmed on screen. Lacking that, you're essentially watching the movie with the mindset of a psychopath, waiting for the morons to be offed.

Watching this, yet another movie about redneck cannibals, I thought of a question I'd like to ask these fictional murderers. Why don't cannibals in horror movies want to cook their food before eating it? Seriously. I'm a carnivore, but I'd never grab a live chicken and start chewing on it. What about all of the diseases people carry around? The main cannibal in this movie eats the lips off of a girl's face. What if he just ate a mouthful of herpes sores? I don't buy that these folks survived a century by eating humans in such a reckless manner... (6/10)

From Within (2008) directed by Phedon Papamichael
This is the second evil doppelganger movie of Horrorfest 2008. You know, this monster concept really doesn't work for me. I can't think of anything less scary than myself. If I were to see my evil twin, I think I'd be more apt to ask him questions than to run. Luckily for this movie, the evil doppelganger ghost part isn't terribly important. In fact, I like the way it was handled. Ostensibly, the evil doppelgangers are the result of a black magic spell that makes it look like people are committing suicide. However, they can just as easily be seen as some sort of contagious psychological condition.

The movies pits the population of a heavily Christian town against a family they think (correctly, as it turns out) are causing a wave of suicides through witchcraft. I always dig a good clash of religions movie (The Wicker Man being the king of these). Surprisingly, this is the first time I've ever seen a megachurch in a horror movie. I think the idea of those places is scary. Particularly, the idea of a charasmatic preacher pursuading his flock of thousands to commit evil. Sadly, that's not really what happens in this film.

I also liked the twist ending in this flick. We think that the last of the witch family has committed a noble suicide in order to end the evil spell his brother cast. Instead, it turns out, he was shot by the son of the megachurch's preacher before he was able to kill himself. This ensures that the curse continues and the movie ends with a montage of the post-suicide occupants of the town. It's an almost Carpenterian apocalyptic ending.

Not the greatest horror movie of all time, but I enjoyed it. (7/10)