This is not a dream.

This is not a dream... not a dream. We are using your brain's electrical system as a receiver. We are unable to transmit through conscious neural interference. You are receiving this broadcast as a dream. We are transmitting from the year 1-9-9-9. You are receiving this broadcast in order to alter all of the events you are seeing. Our technology has not developed a transmitter strong enough to reach your conscious awareness. But this is not a dream. You are seeing what is actually occurring for the purpose of causality violation.

OLR: Caligula (1979)

Tedious and kind of pointless, despite the hardcore sex and awesome headclipper. (6/10)

d. Tinto Brass & Bob Guccione

Marx (1930)

1930 - Animal Crackers - The second and final film based on one of the Bros.'s vaudeville acts is not as successful as the first. This film feels much more stage-y than The Cocoanuts. It mostly takes place in a couple of big sets, Groucho has lengthy asides with a live audience that isn't there and scenes tend to be constructed using long takes with unmoving cameras. This theatrical heritage does give us an interesting moment in which Chandler flubs a line at the end of a lengthy take and Groucho deftly recovers to turn it into a gag.

Harpo and Chico's musical numbers aren't quite as great as they were in the previous film. Groucho's cracks didn't tickle my funny bone quite as much. Some of the humor in this film was a bit dated; I felt I missed more of it than in The Cocoanuts. Zeppo, again, is fairly useless, though he does get more lines this time around and actually got me to crack a smile during the note-taking bit with Groucho. Still, Harpo getting people to hold his leg will never fail to get me to laugh out loud. (6/10)

d. Victor Heerman

OLR: Walk the Line (2005)

Not much for biopics, but good subject and good tunes. (7/10)

d. James Mangold

Marx (1929)

1929 - The Cocoanuts - The only Marx Bros. film I'd seen before this was, I think, Duck Soup. That was over a decade ago but the memories of the heavy guffaws it caused lead me to this particular chronocinethon. Going into this film, I was curious to see if I could still laugh at the Bros. Was their humor, at 76-years-old, too dated to understand? Already films like Austin Powers, at the ripe age of 7, are losing their comedic kick. No worries. Once past the obligatory love song, the scene between Groucho and Mrs. Potter had tears rolling out of my eyes. You need to be nearly as quick-witted as Groucho just to keep up with the jokes in this scene. It's easy to see why Margaret Dumont is the "fifth Marx Brother," as her utterly lost straight man is perfect for Groucho's rapid-fire wisecracks. The rest of the film never quite reaches such a comedic peak, though the scene in which Harpo begins randomly tearing people's mail in half had me laughing nearly as hard.

The songs are pretty bland -- with the exception of the bizarrely titled "Monkey Doodle Doo" -- but I found them watchable just to study 1929’s approach to sexuality. On the other hand, the Bros.'s songs were excellent. In particular, Harpo's harp composition was incredible. Chico's piano tune wasn't bad, either. Both play their instruments with a breezy flair that's fun to watch. Zeppo, however, was entirely useless in the film. It's easy to see why he takes off for behind-the-scenes later on.

A special raspberry to Universal, the worst major studio out there when it comes to DVDs. Their box set of the Paramount Marx Bros. films lacks special features and, judging from the shoddy image quality, appears to be complete unrestored. Universal: send an intern over to WB and have him takes some notes, for Pete's sake. (8/10)

d. Robert Florey & Joseph Santley

OLR: Demented Death Farm Massacre (1971)

Pretty much identical to Hamlet, except with 200% more pitchfork murder. (6/10)

d. Donn Davison & Fred Olen Ray

Trailer (NSFW):

OLR: Bad Boy Bubby (1993)

Anarchic and humanistic, far better than anything Hollywood ever made about the mentally challenged. (8/10)

d. Rolf de Heer

OLR: The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005)

Standard romcom; one extra point for the geek, though. (6/10)

d. Judd Apatow

OLR: Wolves of Wall Street (2002)

Sadly, far too boring to fall into a so-bad-it's-good groove. (3/10)

d. David DeCoteau

[thanks Bill Shatner]

OLR: Fando y Lis (1968)

While dozing in the middle I had some fascinating thoughts, so it must be OK. (6/10)

d. Alejandro Jodorowsky

OLR: Network (1976)

Amusingly/horrifyingly prescient, but hampered a bit by that yappy Chayefsky-style dialogue. (7/10)

d. Sidney Lumet

One Line Reviews

Since the end of 2003, I've been keeping track of every movie I watch and writing one line reviews for them. Why one line only? Anything more than that would be a pain in the ass, plus it's a challenge to try to sum up a film in one little sentence. The single line reviews also fit nicely with Netflix's "Add Your $.02" feature. I use 'em to annoy people on my Netflix friends list.

Now that I've set myself up with a movie-related blog, I might as well post them here as well. I'll include "OLR" in the subject header for them to separate them out from the larger chronocinethon posts.

Coen (closing thoughts)

And with The Ladykillers, that brings me up-to-date in my Coen Bros. Chronocinethon. If forced, I'd probably rank their films in three groups:

Excellent Bros.

• Blood Simple.
• Raising Arizona
• Fargo
• The Big Lebowski
• O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Still Good Stuff Bros.

• Miller's Crossing
• Barton Fink
• The Man Who Wasn't There
• The Ladykillers

What the? Bros.

• The Hudsucker Proxy
• Intolerable Cruelty

Two misses out of eleven ain't bad at all. Also interesting: seven out of eleven were period pieces. It looks like the Bros. next major movie, Hail Caesar, will be another period film. I'm looking forward to their take on 1920s theater. Not doubt it'll have some interesting characters speaking in amusing dialects. Good enough for me already.

Coen (2003-2004)

2003 - Intolerable Cruelty - What the hell? A standard issue Hollywood romantic comedy from the Bros.? After hearing nothing but negative things about this film, I was hoping there was at least something Coenesque to chew on in it. There was. Rex Rexroth's train obsession, Wheezy Joe and Senior Partner Herb's medical conditions, and Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy were distinctive Coen Bros. touches that were fun to watch. Unfortunately, these characters were only a small part of the film. The rest of the film is dedicated to a vaguely screwballish romcom involving an utterly predictable mating dance between two strong-willed characters. This film is solid evidence that the Bros. should stick to directing their own stories.

2004 - The Ladykillers - I've never seen the original film from 1955, but I did enjoy this version. Tom Hanks absolutely disappears into his role as the Professor, the uber-Southern Gentleman with an Edgar Allen Poe fetish. One subtly that interested me was the Bob Jones University angle. For anyone familiar with this institution in the real world, Marva's donations to this institution make this a darker film that one would initially suspect. BJU did not allow Blacks to attend until 1971 and, until the uproar surrounding President Bush's 2000 campaign visit caused them to change, interracial dating was grounds for expulsion for students there. Marva, of course, only knew that the school was a "good Christian" institution. It's a sly bit of social commentary to bury in this comedy remake. While Marva may have defeated the small-time crooks who invaded her house, the big-time religious hucksters have invaded her mind and aren't as easily knocked down staircases by cats. Grim, but true-to-life.

Coen (2000-2001)

2000 - O Brother, Where Art Thou? - The Bros. tackle 1937. A feast for eye and ear, and funny as hell to boot. Perhaps second to Carnivàle, this is my favorite depiction of Depression-era America. Though not from the South, I can see stories my grandparents used to tell me about that time in this film.

I meant to re-read The Odyssey before watching this film, but didn't get around to it. I do think translating stories from classic literature into more familiar settings is an excellent way to keep these tales vital in our society. The only reason I've already read The Odyssey was because I happened to get into honors English in college. Then again, I am also a fan of Tromeo & Juliet.

2001 - The Man Who Wasn't There - The Bros. tackle 1949. I loved Billy Bob Thornton as Ed Crane. As an introvert myself, I understand Crane. I know why he silently observes the world and only speaks when he really has something worth saying; I understand how he just lets life happen to him. Other people complain about the pacing of the film, but I enjoyed Thornton's character so much that I didn't notice. The hyper-noir cinematography -- it's hardly necessary to mention -- is breathtakingly beautiful. I found the setting of a suburb, rather than a dark metropolis, for this noir film a classic Coen touch and amusing in its own right. Outside of the setting and the main character (and three UFO references), the adultery-murder-chain-smoking-wrong-man plot was standard for the genre. The suicide of Crane's wife bordered on melodrama, but Ed Crane's non-reaction helped to avoid that. Not as easy to like as Raising Arizona or Fargo, but an interesting film from the Bros.