Guest MST3K: 306
Time of the Apes. I remember that when I was a young lass I was really, really into the whole "Planet of the Apes" franchise. I don't exactly remember why, but hey, it was the early '70's, and lots of strange things were going on. This movie didn't exactly offer any insight into my earlier interest. It felt a bit odd to be watching a MiSTed Japanese flick and know that I would be seeing any big rubber monster stomping anything flat. At least it was comforting that the required annoying little kids were featured. Also the overly wacky music track that I've noticed in other gifts from Japan. And being a Sandy Frank film, an slow, hole filled trainwreck of a plot also shined through. And let's not forget the regrettable ape costumes. It was discerning to see them say line after line, all without moving their mouths. Like they were ventriloquist dummies manned by a really lazy operator. Still, the Felliniesque scenes at the end were almost worth sitting through the whole movie for even unMiSTed.
Overall, I kinda liked it. I guess I'm just always going to be an Apes fan deep down, know matter how hard I try to live a normal life.
What this movie taught me:
I've already learned from a previous experiment that islands are prone to just falling apart with no apparent warning. This movie instructs that if this should happen to you, the best way to handle the situation is to toss yourself and any nearby annoying children into a pod to be frozen for a very, very long time. Bonus lesson: I don't care!
I can't say that I'm much of a baseball fan, but I did like the sports enhancement upgrades Joel gave the 'bots. Too bad about Joel knocking out a window, though I would have guessed that the rushing air would have been going in the direction of the hull breach, not away from it. I found the cellulite phone to be funny, even if it did hit a bit too close to home. Good thing the mads were able to obtain an actual baby to experiment on. Frank must be pretty strong to haul around the result though! The "Why Johnny doesn't care" segment was good, I laughed when Servo's voice got garbled when the tape started malfunctioning. Is it my imagination, or was Joel especially low energy during the Scopes Monkey trial skit? I did enjoy the skit that pointed out that many of the ape sported fashions that were as laughable as their monkey suits. But, much like the movie itself, my favorite was the ending. How can someone watch Joel's mosh-pit dancing and not be happy!
I'm putting this episode down as a winner. The riffing wasn't as strong as it has been in other episodes I've seen, but the sheer goofiness of the flick and the strong host segments made up for it. And remember, I don't care!
My 3 favorite riffs:
(A frozen lump of pale ape gets thawed)
Kitty! It's Snowball! [Ok, I'm always a sucker for Crow's "kitty" remarks.]
(Johnny nearly gets mashed into pasted by a falling rock booby trap he's stumbled into. In response, he holds up his pocket knife and declares "As long as I got this, I'm not afraid of anything!")
Kid, you're dumber than those rocks!
(Funny looking small ape: "Godo, where are we going?")
Do the words "Shallow grave" mean anything to you?
