MST3K (706)

706 - Laserblast - This movie made no sense, but it was my kind of no sense. In high school, Charles Band was my Roger Corman. I gorged on Full Moon's VHS offerings of murderous puppets, 12-inch-tall alien policemen and surprisingly great Stuart Gordon flicks. He produced the sort of movies I could see myself making: low-budget, rag-tag affairs involving spaceships or vampires or "the most powerful gun in the Universe." Ah, I can still smell the salsa-Velveeta concoction we ate during movie nights back then.

Even for a proto-Full Moon movie, this film was a particular mess. This, of course, makes it excellent fodder for the show. Though I got very tired of the "are you ready for some football?" riffs, the rest of the show was solidly funny. Somewhat fittingly, whenever Crow would speak for the turtle-alien-things, he'd use a higher-pitched voice than normal. It sounded a lot like his original voice during the KTMA episodes.

Trace-as-Crow's last word: "me." Trace-as-Dr. Forrester's last word: "poopie." Depending on how you count, Dr. Clayton Deborah Susan Forrester tortured the residents of the SOL for 2733 days (7 years, 5 months, 25 days) and forced them to watch 150 movies (141 unique movies) and 56 shorts, or he did it for 2374 days (6 years, 6 months, 1 day) and sent 129 movies and 56 shorts. Eight seasons playing two different characters is quite a run. It's going to be hard getting used to Crow's new voice and the lack of a quintessential, perfectly-portrayed mad scientist. I think I'll survive. After all, the show itself takes these changes in stride and makes them look easy.

"Every time I come close to not hating him, I see those feet on the side of the van." (8/10)

film d. Michael Rae (1978)
mst d. Trace Beaulieu (18 May 1996)