SWH: Week 2 (nine)

Tales from the Crypt: "Judy, You're Not Yourself Today" (1990)
Cloying music and too self-consciously humorous to be any good at all. (4/10)
d. Randa Haines

Tales from the Crypt: "Fitting Punishment" (1990)
Standard ghost-revenge tale. (6/10)
d. Jack Sholder

Fright and Sound: Bring the Crypt Experience to Radio (2005)

The Munsters: "Herman the Great" (1964)
Dracula watching Frankenstein professional wrestle is entertaining no matter how terrible the wrestling is. (7/10)
d. Earl Bellamy

The Munsters: "Knock Wood, Here Comes Charlie" (1964)
Modern times make you look at Charlie's uranium-making machine in different light. (6/10)
d. Lawrence Dobkin

SWH: Week 2 (eight)

Inhumanoids: "The Evil That Lies Within, Part 3" (1986)
A kids' cartoon with zombies straight out of Heavy Metal. (7/10)
d. Ray Lee

Inhumanoids: "The Evil That Lies Within, Part 4" (1986)
Ronald Reagan probably wanted to give Tendril a medal. (7/10)
d. Ray Lee

Inhumanoids: "The Evil That Lies Within, Part 5" (1986)
Man, Auger needs to go into some counseling or something. (7/10)
d. Ray Lee

Watched with Chef Gregory Jay ~250 miles north of home base. Gave Jones Soda Spider Cider a try. Though it only tastes vaguely like apple cider, it was not bad. Another drinkable flavor. Chef declined to eat any of the orange-filled Halloween edition Oreos, revealing that he dislikes food with artificial coloring. I explained that the Dr Pepper he was drinking wasn't naturally brown. "Shaddup," was his good-natured reply. The next morning, he complained that the Inhumanoids theme song was stuck in his head all night. Probably was the food coloring.

SWH: Week 2 (seven)

Tales from the Crypt: "The Ventriloquist's Dummy" (1990)
Not another killer doll story... waitaminute, this is frickin' hilarious. (8/10)
d. Richard Donner

Carnivàle: "Babylon" (trailer)
Guinea Pig 4: Mermaid in the Manhole (trailer)
Aqua Teen Hunger Force: "The Shaving" (2003)

Silent Hill (2006)
Very respectful of the excellent game series, though the long exposition scene was not the best way to present that information. (7/10)
d. Christophe Gans

Inhumanoids: "The Evil That Lies Within, Part 1" (1986)
Giant monsters smashing the hell out of San Francisco was something Saturday mornings needed. (7/10)
d. Ray Lee

Inhumanoids: "The Evil That Lies Within, Part 2" (1986)
The mantle is not liquid-hot magma, but, rather, huge diamonds. (7/10)
d. Ray Lee

Watched with Chef Gregory Jay ~250 miles north of home base shortly after smoking a Clint Eastwood-style cigar over a camp fire.

SWH: Week 2 (six)

Mystery Science Theater 3000: "Attack of the Giant Leeches" (1992)
[A Year on the Satellite of Love] (8/10)
d. Jim Mallon & B. Reeves Eason & Joseph Kane & Bernard L. Kowalski

The Munsters: "Tin Can Man" (1964)
I was just worried Eddie was going fall out of the back of the Koach; is there a seatbelt in that thing or what? (7/10)
d. Earl Bellamy

MST3K (406)

406 - Attack of the Giant Leeches (w/ Undersea Kingdom, Chapter One: Beneath the Ocean Floor) - This is one of those pleasant surprise episodes. The movie was much better than I was expecting. It has the title and the look of any generic, '50s mutant monster picture. Yeah, the leeches do look a little ridiculous. Maybe a lot ridiculous. But that scene where the leeches drag their victims into the cave and start sucking on their necks... it was strangely horrifying (for what it was). The leech-wounded corpses floating in front of the underwater camera were not something I was expecting in '50s horror, either.

The riffing was nicely laugh-worthy. In a reverse of the typical MST episode, I think the riffing got stronger as the movie progressed. "I don't remember Liz being dead with giant hickies on her face." The same could be said for the host segments, which range from a welcome Superman II reference ("You will bow down before me, son of Jor-El") to another excellent song ("A Danger to Ourselves and Others").

See, this is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about. Everybody's enjoying their coffee in the "Dreams" host segment just fine. There's sugar and cream and everything. There was also the potential for danger. Gypsy and Crow would be OK with their appropriately-colored coffee cups; it's Joel and Servo you have to worry about. Should Joel grab the wrong, red cup... eww! Bot backwash! Then again, maybe accidentally drinking from a robot's coffee cup gave Joel magically psychic powers. He dreams that Crow and Servo end up living in a duplex together. Though he didn't see the fact that they would also be living with the guy who dressed as one of the Holo-Clowns, that's pretty accurate.

The serial was the only weak part of this episode. I don't know why they're trying this again after both previous dalliances with serials fell flat on their faces. This particular episode wasn't so bad because the first half of it did not take place in the realm of villains in silly costumes. At the Navy base, we get to laugh at "Crash" as he first wrestles like an ape and then swings like a monkey to rescue an annoying kid. As soon as the episode gets to Atlantis, however, it's obvious it's going into tedious, incomprehensible Commando Cody territory.

"Then folks started payin' for their groceries with old cars. Nothin' you could do about it." (8/10)

film d. Bernard L. Kowalski (1958)
short d. B. Reeves Eason & Joseph Kane (1936)
mst d. Jim Mallon (18 Jul 1992)

Guest OLR: The Squid and the Whale (2005)

Being uncomfortable has never been more hilarious. (7/10)

d. Noah Baumbach

SWH: Week 2 (five)

Mystery Science Theater 3000: "Being from Another Planet" (1992)
[A Year on the Satellite of Love] (8/10)
d. Jim Mallon & Tom Kennedy

Tales from the Crypt: "Four-Sided Triangle" (1990)
So, are all TftC episodes about adultery, or what? (6/10)
d. Tom Holland

Halloween II (1981)
Slides by on its predecessor's good will, but pretty inept by itself. (6/10)
d. Rick Rosenthal

Halloween 2 Extended Interviews (2003)
Halloween 2 Panel Discussion at the H25 Convention (2003)

Horror's Hallowed Grounds: Halloween (2005)
Fun stuff; I wish I got the Horror Channel. (8/10)
d. Andrew Kasch & Sean Clark

The Munsters: "Lo-Cal Munster" (1964)
Fred Gwynne didn't seem to be his usual, high-spirited self this week. (6/10)
d. Norman Abbott

MST3K (405)

405 - Being from Another Planet - Woo-hoo! This is the closest thing to a Halloween episode MST3K has produced so far. There were the evil Tragic Moments Figurines^TM from the Mads. The movie itself was about a mummy-alien killing people. Most of all, there was the classic "Mad Scientist Laboratory" gag with the peeled grapes for eyes and cauliflower for brains. I dig how Joel gets nutty and chomps onto the brains/cauliflower. Very Return of the Living Dead.

During the end credits, Servo claims that this movie is worse than any of the previous experiments that Crow and Joel rattle off (except that it ties with Fu Manchu). No way. Did Kevin really think so? Judging from his book, he might've, but I think this was just a way to plow through the credits without resorting to making fun of people's names again. To me, this is no where near the bottom. In fact, this is exactly the kind of crap that I enjoy watching on its own. It has the excellent James Karen from The Return of the Living Dead, the criminally under-used Austin Stoker from Assault on Precinct 13, and its music was composed by Richard Band, who created the catchy theme for Re-Animator (among many others).

Also, I think I saw a nipple during the obligatory "girl takes a shower in the middle of a horror movie" scene. Due to the hazy quality of my DVD-R-sourced-from-VHS-sourced-from-fuzzy-cable, it's really hard to be sure. And maybe Servo's head was in the way. But, dammit, I paused and used slow-mo to double-check.

Susie: "I'm sorry, did I startle you?" Crow: "No, that's why I wet myself." Joel & Servo: "Aww-oh..." I was surprised that I got more laughs out of the riffing from this episode than I have from any all season. Maybe it was because I was pleased with the movie selection? Other reviewers are pretty indifferent or downright dislike this ep. I dunno. I thought the bits where Crow and Servo were scared to death of the green boiler room shots were hilarious.

"Smells like mummy meat in here." (8/10)

film d. Tom Kennedy (1982)
mst d. Jim Mallon (4 Jul 1992)

SWH: Week 1 (four)

Mystery Science Theater 3000: "Teenagers from Outer Space" (1992)
[A Year on the Satellite of Love] (7/10)
d. Kevin Murphy & Tom Graeff

Halloween (Commentary by John Carpenter, Debra Hill & Jamie Lee Curtis) (1994)
John and Debra have plenty of interesting nuggets and there's rarely a spot of silence. (8/10)
d. John Carpenter

On Location: 25 Years Later (2003)
Halloween Panel Discussion at the H25 Convention (2003)

Halloween: Unmasked (1999)
OK for a brief documentary, but doesn't cover much beyond what was said in the commentary. (6/10)
d. Mark Cerulli

Halloween: A Cut Above the Rest (2003)
A little bit of new footage and info, but padded with far too many movie scenes. (7/10)
d. Steven Smith

MST3K (404)

404 - Teenagers from Outer Space - From the title to the flying saucer's design to the jumpsuits to the rayguns to the giant monster, this is the quintessential '50s sci-fi movie. Coming out at the end of the decade, it's a Road House-like decade-capper for its genre. Given the pure, '50s goofiness it contains, it's pretty entertaining to watch on its own.

Betty: "Grandpa was so exhausted, he fell sound asleep with all of his clothes on." Joel: "And then he soiled himself." My favorite riffs from this ep were those directed at the nine-fingered grandfather. I'm pleased to see he returns in a couple of the Ed Wood movies coming in later seasons.

Aww... what a rip. An alien pulled up to the SOL in a super-boss skull ship, but the visitor was just a skeleton that immediately collapsed. Where's Mike, man? We haven't had a visit from him in ages. They made up for it in the last host segment. The fashion show of coveralls with duct tape trim was great, even if some of Joel's poses were extremely disturbing.

This episode sports a couple of behind-the-scenes firsts. It was Mary Jo Pehl's first show as a writer. Little did she know, five years later she'd take over as the main villain. This was also the first episode of the cable era not directed by Jim Mallon (well, not counting 324 in which he shared a credit with Mike). I don't think that I can detect either person's influence on this episode. It doesn't seem any different from the last one, to me. Maybe one of the newbies was to blame for the first host segment being out of order (it references stuff in the movie that we hadn't seen yet)? Anyway, not noticing any differences during these personnel switcheroos is a strength of the show. More on that when 513 rolls around.

Weird. There's a music cue ~52 minutes into the episode that sounds really familiar. During the scene in which Thor is almost passing out on the operating table, the music sounds very similar to that played when Mills learns "what's in the box" at the end of Se7en. They both use that "tweee-EEE-tweee-EEE" screechy violin sound with some scary bass notes underneath.

"Wait until you see my tongues." (7/10)

film d. Tom Graeff (1959)
mst d. Kevin Murphy (27 Jun 1992)

MST3K (403)

403 - City Limits - "He's got a Picasso boob... platter on." Not a bad show. I'm partial to post-apocalyptic movies. This wasn't a particular good example of that genre, but it was filled with complete doofuses riding bikes. JatB had their fun with it. I do have to admit, I've never see an evil-bad guy offed by a desk before.

C'mon guys... having two identical host segments back-to-back is cheating. Yes, their list of funny super hero ideas is plenty amusing. Sure, throwing a couple more on the pile in the following segment was even more amusement. It was also pretty disappointing. Host segments are the much-needed break from the movie. I look forward to them. What are the guys gonna do next? Will Crazy Joel return? Maybe we'll get another song? Perhaps it's time for a visit from Mike? A goofy reenactment of a scene from the movie is always welcome. With all of that potential floating in the air, it was a bummer for it to collapse into "oh, more of the same."

The best part about the "Oh, Kim Cattrall" host segment isn't the song itself. It's the fact that Kim herself randomly discovered this song playing on TV.

"I was in my hotel room and was channel surfing. And what do I hear but my own name being sung by a small golden man. And it just went on like that. I yelled for my boyfriend to come in and see this. We were just in shock. A few minutes later, one of my lesser accomplishments came on: City Limits. I called my publicity agent and asked him if Mystery Science Theater 3000 was a real show. He said yes. I called my florist and had an odd request: to send a bouquet of flowers to a Crow T. Robot. It went to a place called Eden Prairie. Later on, Trace and I met and corresponded. And that is how Mystery Science Theater 3000 came into my life." (from misties.com)

Why didn't anyone mention this awesomeness in the ACEG entry for 403?

"Hey, who invited the stinky guy? Smells like Pussy Nibbles®." (7/10)

film d. Aaron Lipstadt (1984)
mst d. Jim Mallon (20 Jun 1992)

[written whilst enjoying a Number 1 at Flim Flam]

SWH: Week 1 (three)

Mystery Science Theater 3000: "The Giant Gila Monster" (1992)
[A Year on the Satellite of Love] (7/10)
d. Jim Mallon & Ray Kellogg

The Munsters: "A Walk on the Mild Side" (1964)
How did Eddie get changed back to normal size? (6/10)
d. Norman Abbott

The Munsters: "Rock-a-Bye Munster" (1964)
I remember as a kid watching Herman think the toy Frankenstein was his newborn baby and being extremely disturbed. (8/10)
d. Norman Abbott

Tales from the Crypt: "The Sacrifice" (1990)
Michael Ironside could read Stephen King's laundry list and be interesting, though the rest of the show ain't too special. (6/10)
d. Richard Greenberg

Tales from the Crypt: "For Cryin' Out Loud" (1990)
Yeah, I'd beg to be killed if Sam Kinison's voice was yelling in my ear all day, too. (7/10)
d. Jeffrey Price

The Munsters: "Pike's Pique" (1964)
Perfectly establishes Lily, Herman and Grandpa's personalities. (7/10)
d. Seymour Berns

MST3K (402)

402 - The Giant Gila Monster - Ostensibly, this is not a good movie. The titular monster is never photographed correctly and just looks like a regular lizard walking through brush. The close relationship between the sheriff and the town's tow truck driver is inexplicable at best. Still, the film has a charm that makes it endearing. I think part of the reason for this is that it was an independent film made in Texas. This sets it apart from the typical, '50s monsters pictures filmed in Hollywood by the studios. It has a completely different feeling. Kind of down-home. I like it.

"Huzzah, my butt, you satin-suited, Tolkien-reading loser!" Can Frank do wrong? It seems unlikely. Watching Frank beat the hell out of punching bags painted like Renfest rejects is strangely satisfying. I see they are also finally crediting him as "TV's Frank." I guess after two years on the air, he's earned that appellation.

The host segment with the "knee up" montage was brilliant.

Chase: "I carried you in there and I sat on you until you fell asleep." Joel: "Oh, wow." There was more energy in the riffing in this episode compared to the last one. This is just a better movie choice for the guys to dig into, I think. Actually, all of the Munsters riffs (you know, because of the old school hot rods) has put me the mood to watch an ep or two right now. Time to cut this short.

"Mmm, nice uvula." (7/10)

film d. Ray Kellogg (1959)
mst d. Jim Mallon (13 Jun 1992)

SWH: Week 1 (two)

Near Dark (trailer)
The Curious Dr. Humpp (trailer)
Scanners: "Head Explosion"

Creepshow 2 (1987)
"Old Chief Wood'nhead" is poorly constructed, "The Hitchhiker" is average, but "The Raft" is one excellent piece of horror. (6/10)
d. Michael Gornick

Beware! Children at Play (trailer)
Guinea Pig 2: Flower of Flesh and Blood (trailer)
The Simpsons: "Treehouse of Horror 07-1: The Thing and I"

Masters of Horror: "Cigarette Burns" (2005)
I really wanted to be blown away, but the story isn't anything special and parts felt inauthentic. (6/10)
d. John Carpenter

Dead & Breakfast (trailer)
Vampire Wars: Battle for the Universe (trailer)

Killer Condom (1996)
Had its funny bits and was a pretty original idea for an AIDS metaphor, but drags on for far too long. (5/10)
d. Martin Walz

Tales from the Crypt: "The Thing from the Grave" (1990)
Again, you can see the ending coming thirteen miles away, but the zombie makeup was very nice. (6/10)
d. Fred Dekker

Tonight's proceedings were joined by C and fed by the unbeatable, though expensive, Pizza House. Pizza and french fries covered in bacon and cheddar cheese were enjoyed by all. Afterwards, the candy drawer was employed.

I taste-tested my first of the Jones Soda Halloween 2006 Limited Edition soft drinks. They released seven flavors this year. Four of them are in mini-cans and are flavors aimed at kids. Three of them are in glass bottles and seem to be for adults to mix with alcohol. I went for a glass bottle of Lemon Drop Dead Soda tonight. It's drinkable, unlike some flavors from last year. I would describe it as liquid lemon-flavored Pez.

Here's my watchin' box, decked out for Six Weeks of Halloween:

MST3K (401)

401 - Space Travelers - I bet Film Ventures was really kicking themselves for already using up the title Stranded in Space when they got the rights to this one. Worse, that title didn't even make sense for the prior movie. The guy was stranded on Earth's sister planet. Space didn't figure much into it. Space Travelers isn't terribly descriptive of this film, either. Yeah, I guess they're technically traveling in space, orbiting Earth. That's not really the important part of the movie's plot, though.

At any rate, I think this is my least favorite Film Ventures movie, Academy Award-winning, well-liked-by-the-general-public though it may be. The pace is a little plodding and, in this post-Apollo 13 world, it's a little redundant. Plus, Rocketship X-M did it better and with a ballsier ending.

Wife: "Oh, there's one more thing..." Joel: "I'm buying a... oh, I guess it can wait till you're dea... I'm mean down." Once again, the "insensitive clod" riffs are my favorite. The guys have ample time to play with these during the long, long scene in which each wife talks to her doomed astronaut husband for the last time. Wife: "They want to give you something." Crow: "A headstone."

The host segments in this episode were just OK. The list of inventions that the space program has given us and the rocketship sketch were both densely written and clever. Not laugh-out-loud funny, though. I was pleased to hear SPACOM! get a mention as a NASA invention, though. The final segment was another one of those in which knowledge of a before-my-time actor is a requirement to enjoy it. I've no idea who Tony Franciosa was. I probably should. As a horror fan, I really should get around to watching Argento's Tenebre someday.

"Oh, Gene Hackman. He's good in anything, you guys." (6/10)

film d. John Sturges (1969)
mst d. Jim Mallon (6 Jun 1992)