MST3K (412)

412 - Hercules and the Captive Women - I didn't have a problem following the other two Herc movies -- which were also dubbed, Italian pictures from the 1960s -- but this one is nigh-incomprehensible. Who were those blonde-beared clones? Why were they so strong, yet three dozen of them couldn't take down Herc? Shouldn't this have been called Hercules and the Captive Lepers? How did that shaft of sunlight trigger a volcano? And, why did everyone hate tabletops?

Woman: "Today's dedicated to Uranus." Crow-as-Herc: "Well, thank you, I'm fla... uhh, oh." Priest: "I was the last high priest dedicated to Uranus." Servo-as-Herc: "Gonna wear longer skirts from now on." Jokes about the mispronunciation of the name of the seventh planet are gold. Even when Uranus is mentioned and the guys don't make a comment, I found myself laughing. It makes everyone's dialogue incredibly silly when taken the wrong way. I'm imagining, in the original Italian, this movie isn't quite as funny.

In the final host segment, the guys hold a funeral for the "final" Hercules movie and bury the Herc action figure. Now I can't wait until 502 to see how they freak out when faced with yet another movie about the oily demigod. They were pretty close, though, and I believe that the Herc films are the last multiple-movie series they'll ever do. I'm glad. Though the Herc movies weren't so bad, I'd rather have maximum variety in the experiments. They end up making a lot of the same jokes during these sequels (Herc's body grease, etc.).

"Jim Henson's Gandhi Babies." Servo, no! No!

"You know it's really amazing there aren't any tourists here. Think I'll go nude." (7/10)

film d. Vittorio Cottafani (1961)
mst d. Jim Mallon (12 Sep 1992)