18 October 2006

MST3K (TD92)

Turkey Day '92 - A little disappointing compared to last year's Turkey Day. There was only about half as much content this year and many of the bumpers were recycled. The premise wasn't quite as fun, either. Last year, Dr. F tried to take over the world using his MST3K marathon while Frank hosted a Thanksgiving dinner for friends. The variety that the influx of guests brought is gone this year, replaced with Dr. F force-feeding Frank a turkey for each movie. It's a one-note joke that gets repeating 15 times in a row. Still, I always find Frank's not quite convincing screams of "nooooo!" funny, as well as most anything else he does. We get to see Frank more in these annual Turkey Days than were do in an entire season of host segments.

The movie selection for this year was great. Rock climbing, a Martian Christmas, songs about giant turtles, songs about Kim Cattrall, and Lee Van Cleef in pajamas make for some good times. The only dud here is the ultra-boring The Unearthly. However, we do get two -- count 'em -- two premiere episodes for the holiday, book-ending the marathon.

25 Nov 1992
18:00 415 - The Beatniks
20:00 322 - Master Ninja I
22:00 401 - Space Travelers
26 Nov 1992
00:00 208 - Lost Continent
02:00 403 - City Limits
04:00 317 - The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent
06:00 402 - The Giant Gila Monster
08:00 210 - King Dinosaur
10:00 321 - Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
12:00 411 - The Magic Sword
14:00 404 - Teenagers from Outer Space
16:00 408 - Hercules Unchained
18:00 320 - The Unearthly
20:00 312 - Gamera vs Guiron
22:00 416 - Fire Maidens of Outer Space
23:59 This Is MST3K

To celebrate this pseudo-holiday, I ordered myself a pizza from a non-special joint just the way I like it: green olives only. Odd? Probably. But, tastey to me. That tided me over during 415. Before spinning 416, I had to make myself a little dessert using these ingredients:

Yes, I mixed myself up an honest-to-God Killer Shrew. Thanks to Servo and Crow's recipe from 407, I was able to include a for-real MST3K mixed drink in my celebration. As you can see, I was forced to make a few minor substitutions. Coke no longer makes Mr Pibb, so I replaced that with Dr Pepper. This suits me fine, as I'm a DP man, myself. As it is not Easter season, the Marshmallow Peeps chicks were swapped for ghosts. It's Halloweentime, so this is perfectly acceptable. Throwing all of this stuff into a blender using the proportions recommended looked like this:

For fear of choking on a whole Sweet Tart, I blended the mixture much better than Joel did on the show. I gave it a nice, long mix on both "grind" and "puree." When I was satisfied, I dumped it into a glass and garnished with a gummy bat (a wind-up shrew didn't sound very edible):

The photo on the left is what I had in front of me before 416 started. The right-hand picture shows the results ninety minutes later. I think I did quite a good job. I really wanted to "Fear Factor" it, but the lack of a $50000 reward left me with little motivation to put that much processed sugar into my body all at once. I was proud to get half of it down.

What was this magnificently brown sludge like? It tastes pretty much like Mrs. Butterworth's syrup with Cap'n Crunch in it. This is to say, terrible. The flavor of the M&M's, circus peanuts, ice cream, frosting, Good & Plenty, and even the Dr Pepper just disappeared in to nowhereville. The Peeps contributed by giving the whole thing the consistency of mashed potatoes. The sludge also reeked like a dumpster in the alley next to an IHOP, which required a holding of the nose in order to swallow it down. Sorry Joel, Crow and Servo, I just don't see this showing up at the local bars anytime soon.

"Gene Hackman, we're really sorry." (7/10)

mst d. ?? (25-26 Nov 1992)