OLR: Demented Death Farm Massacre (1971)

Pretty much identical to Hamlet, except with 200% more pitchfork murder. (6/10)

d. Donn Davison & Fred Olen Ray

Trailer (NSFW):

OLR: Bad Boy Bubby (1993)

Anarchic and humanistic, far better than anything Hollywood ever made about the mentally challenged. (8/10)

d. Rolf de Heer

OLR: The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005)

Standard romcom; one extra point for the geek, though. (6/10)

d. Judd Apatow

OLR: Wolves of Wall Street (2002)

Sadly, far too boring to fall into a so-bad-it's-good groove. (3/10)

d. David DeCoteau

[thanks Bill Shatner]

OLR: Fando y Lis (1968)

While dozing in the middle I had some fascinating thoughts, so it must be OK. (6/10)

d. Alejandro Jodorowsky

OLR: Network (1976)

Amusingly/horrifyingly prescient, but hampered a bit by that yappy Chayefsky-style dialogue. (7/10)

d. Sidney Lumet

One Line Reviews

Since the end of 2003, I've been keeping track of every movie I watch and writing one line reviews for them. Why one line only? Anything more than that would be a pain in the ass, plus it's a challenge to try to sum up a film in one little sentence. The single line reviews also fit nicely with Netflix's "Add Your $.02" feature. I use 'em to annoy people on my Netflix friends list.

Now that I've set myself up with a movie-related blog, I might as well post them here as well. I'll include "OLR" in the subject header for them to separate them out from the larger chronocinethon posts.

Coen (closing thoughts)

And with The Ladykillers, that brings me up-to-date in my Coen Bros. Chronocinethon. If forced, I'd probably rank their films in three groups:

Excellent Bros.

• Blood Simple.
• Raising Arizona
• Fargo
• The Big Lebowski
• O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Still Good Stuff Bros.

• Miller's Crossing
• Barton Fink
• The Man Who Wasn't There
• The Ladykillers

What the? Bros.

• The Hudsucker Proxy
• Intolerable Cruelty

Two misses out of eleven ain't bad at all. Also interesting: seven out of eleven were period pieces. It looks like the Bros. next major movie, Hail Caesar, will be another period film. I'm looking forward to their take on 1920s theater. Not doubt it'll have some interesting characters speaking in amusing dialects. Good enough for me already.

Coen (2003-2004)

2003 - Intolerable Cruelty - What the hell? A standard issue Hollywood romantic comedy from the Bros.? After hearing nothing but negative things about this film, I was hoping there was at least something Coenesque to chew on in it. There was. Rex Rexroth's train obsession, Wheezy Joe and Senior Partner Herb's medical conditions, and Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy were distinctive Coen Bros. touches that were fun to watch. Unfortunately, these characters were only a small part of the film. The rest of the film is dedicated to a vaguely screwballish romcom involving an utterly predictable mating dance between two strong-willed characters. This film is solid evidence that the Bros. should stick to directing their own stories.

2004 - The Ladykillers - I've never seen the original film from 1955, but I did enjoy this version. Tom Hanks absolutely disappears into his role as the Professor, the uber-Southern Gentleman with an Edgar Allen Poe fetish. One subtly that interested me was the Bob Jones University angle. For anyone familiar with this institution in the real world, Marva's donations to this institution make this a darker film that one would initially suspect. BJU did not allow Blacks to attend until 1971 and, until the uproar surrounding President Bush's 2000 campaign visit caused them to change, interracial dating was grounds for expulsion for students there. Marva, of course, only knew that the school was a "good Christian" institution. It's a sly bit of social commentary to bury in this comedy remake. While Marva may have defeated the small-time crooks who invaded her house, the big-time religious hucksters have invaded her mind and aren't as easily knocked down staircases by cats. Grim, but true-to-life.

Coen (2000-2001)

2000 - O Brother, Where Art Thou? - The Bros. tackle 1937. A feast for eye and ear, and funny as hell to boot. Perhaps second to Carnivàle, this is my favorite depiction of Depression-era America. Though not from the South, I can see stories my grandparents used to tell me about that time in this film.

I meant to re-read The Odyssey before watching this film, but didn't get around to it. I do think translating stories from classic literature into more familiar settings is an excellent way to keep these tales vital in our society. The only reason I've already read The Odyssey was because I happened to get into honors English in college. Then again, I am also a fan of Tromeo & Juliet.

2001 - The Man Who Wasn't There - The Bros. tackle 1949. I loved Billy Bob Thornton as Ed Crane. As an introvert myself, I understand Crane. I know why he silently observes the world and only speaks when he really has something worth saying; I understand how he just lets life happen to him. Other people complain about the pacing of the film, but I enjoyed Thornton's character so much that I didn't notice. The hyper-noir cinematography -- it's hardly necessary to mention -- is breathtakingly beautiful. I found the setting of a suburb, rather than a dark metropolis, for this noir film a classic Coen touch and amusing in its own right. Outside of the setting and the main character (and three UFO references), the adultery-murder-chain-smoking-wrong-man plot was standard for the genre. The suicide of Crane's wife bordered on melodrama, but Ed Crane's non-reaction helped to avoid that. Not as easy to like as Raising Arizona or Fargo, but an interesting film from the Bros.

Coen (1995-1998)

1995 - Fargo - The Bros. tackle 1987. I'm fairly certain this is the only Coen film that my mom has seen. This is probably a comment on how effective the Bros.' untrue "True Story" tag at the beginning of the film was. I distinctly remember my older relatives lamenting "that poor boy" whose father completely screwed up his life. It is an excellent movie, mom-friendly or not. The acting is topnotch, the photography of the winter landscape is beautiful and well-composed, and the story unfolds like a Greek tragedy. Like Miller's Crossing, we're also treated to a fun, exaggerated dialect. However, in this film, or O Brother, or Raising Arizona, I'm never sure whether the Bros. are showing us these exaggerated -- but based in reality -- regional cultures of the US to make fun or out of a real love. Marge Gunderson, who, despite speaking in her amusing hyper-Minnesota accent, is treated with such respect that I lean towards the latter option.

Warning to buyers of this DVD. I have the double-sided disc with the widescreen version on one side and the full screen version on the other. Technically, the disc is a DVD-14, meaning that one of the sides is dual-layered. Don't buy this version. Look for the Special Edition with only the widescreen version on it (which would be a single-sided DVD-9). DVD-14s and DVD-18s tend to have major problems: my disc froze on me near the end of the movie and others have reported similar troubles with discs made this way.

1998 - The Big Lebowski - The Bros. tackle 1991. I've never read a Chandler novel, but I am familiar with the "double-crossing crime" genre (last seen here in Miller's Crossing). I'm not much of a fan of stories of that type, so I particularly enjoy this film flipping the genre around and playing with it humorously. In fact, it's a great framework to play with the crazy characters the Bros. invented or pulled from real life. Plug in the ultra-lazy Dude in the place of an ultra-serious hardboiled dick, provide him some temporary motivation in the form of a crazy Vietnam vet, and see what happens. Refusing to use non-diagetic music, making a period piece a mere seven years in the past, the outer cowboy campfire story layer, nihilism, and dozens of other details add up to make this a uniquely funny film.

While watching this film, my film-watching partner and I each drank two White Russians. Each drink was made using a different recipe found online. If you like 'em strong, 2 oz of vodka, 1 oz of Kahlua and 1 oz of half-and-half poured over rocks will do ya. Personally, I preferred the second recipe: 1.5 oz of vodka, 1.5 oz of Kahlua poured over rocks; half-and-half floated on top to taste.

Coen (1990-1994)

1990 - Miller's Crossing - The Bros. tackle 1929. Cut from the same cloth as Yojimbo and A Fistful of Dollars. While the plot does offer some surprises, its basic structure is solidly in the "double-crossing criminals" subgenre. Making the main character a loyal-but-tormented gangster, rather than an unaffiliated drifter, and adding the love for a dame into the mix helps to differentiate the film from its antecedents. The most fun, for me, in this film comes from the dialogue. The Bros. seemed to have stuffed every single piece of Prohibition-era slang into the script. Sometimes the characters' conversations border on incomprehensible, but it helps add, along with the endlessly firing Tommy guns and the obsession with fedoras, to the hyper-gangster reality of the film's universe.

1991 - Barton Fink - The Bros. tackle 1941. I still feel like I don't get the film. I'm comfortable with the big ideas in it. I get that Hollywood claims to champion creativity, but will destroy the soul of any creative people in its grasp. I get that so-called champions of the common man often don't understand common men at all. I get that Barton is psychotically trapped in his "life of the mind," whereas his oppositely-sized and -demeanored neighbor Charlie lives a psychotic life of the flesh. I'm not solid with other pieces of the film. For example, Barton gets Audrey to come over to help him come up with an outline for his script. Audrey has a good head for such things, having helped Mayhew write his books and scripts. Instead of working, they have sex. Later, Charlie gives Barton a package to hold onto for him, which I assume contains Audrey's severed head. With Audrey's mind, severed from her body, on his desk, Barton not only breaks his writer's block, but writes the best work of his life. Why this is so I can come up with a few ideas, but I don't have a definitive answer. Which, of course, only makes the film fun to watch repeatedly.

1994 - The Hudsucker Proxy - The Bros. tackle 1958, though many of the situations and one entire character were lifted from 1941's Meet John Doe. I'm not sure what went wrong with this one. The comedy falls flat most of the time. The arc of Tim Robbin's character is predictable. The deus ex machina (near literally) ending comes out of nowhere to provide an unsatisfying ending. Was it Sam Raimi's help with the script? Studio interference? Or, was it just time, after four solid films, to swing and miss?

Coen (1983-1987)

1983 - Blood Simple. - The old saying "seeing is believing" fuels a cascade of misunderstandings in this film. In a way, it's almost like a noir version of a Three's Company episode in which the kooky hijinx result in murder. Throughout the film, when seeing overrides listening, bad things happen. A faked photograph and failure to heed the sound of a cocking revolver doom Marty. The sight of Abby's revolver and Marty with a bullet wound in his chest leads Ray to two erroneous conclusions; a listen to Marty's chest and a real conversation with Abby would've cleared those things up. Abby's failure to listen to Ray allows the PI to see well enough to fire his rifle and kill her lover. It's only when Abby listens to the position of the PI and fires a bullet -- without ever seeing him -- through a door that this run of bad things ends.

I'm curious as to the differences between the director's cut I just watched on DVD and the original theatrical cut. Generally, I'm not a fan of directors re-editing their movies after a significant amount of time has gone by. This is an impressive first film, but I have to wonder how much influence the modern versions of the Bros. had over this cut.

1987 - Raising Arizona - I think in fifty years, people will still be able to watch this and find it funny. Outside of one reference to President Reagan, this is a timeless comedy in which the laughs come from the goofy characters, the situations they get into, and even the editing of the film itself. The closest thing I can think to compare this film to is a Looney Tunes short. It has all of the kinetic energy and broad characters of a cartoon with a solid core about family. I'm still not sure why Leonard and H.I. had the same tattoo (appropriately, of the zany cartoon character Woody Woodpecker). Were they brothers? Was Leonard the hellspawn pure-evil outlaw biker flipside of H.I.'s angelically harmless recidivist convenience store robber? Or, maybe it was just for the simple chuckle: "huh, that's weird!"? Either way, after this recent viewing, I think Raising Arizona is now somewhere in my top 20 favorite comedies. Pure fun.

Welcome!

Welcome to the Home of the Chronocinethon! What's a chronocinethon? It's a made-up word. It describes the process in which I collect all of a director's movies, then watch them all in chronological order. That way, I can marvel at his intellectual growth throughout the years... or lack thereof.

I've just transferred my mini-reviews and all of my collection lists from my old homepage and several old IMDB threads.

In February, I should be starting my next Chronocinethon, which will be chosen from the "Future Chronocinethons" section over there on the left. After watching a night's worth of films, I'll write up mini-reviews for them and post them here. It's not much, but it keeps me amused.

Right now, I'm thinking it might be Alfred Hitchcock time. I've been wanting to tear into his films for a year now, but I needed to complete my collection. Although, I should buy one of those field sequential 3D setups, so I can watch Dial M for Murder in its proper, 3D format (thanks, 3d geek!).

Mystery Science Theater 3000

The MST3K Chronocinethon
18 May 2006 - 17 May 2007
"A Year on the Satellite of Love"

opening thoughts

K04 | K05 | K06 | K07 | K08 | K09 | K10 | K11 | K12 | K13 | K14 | K15 | K16 | K17 | K18 | K19 | K20 | K21 | (ct)

101 | 102 | 103 | 105 | 106 | 107 | 108 | 109 | 110 | 111 | 112 | 113 | 104 | (ct)

201 | 202 | 203 | 204 | 205 | 206 | 207 | 208 | 209 | 210 | 211 | 212 | 213 | (ct)

301 | 302 | 303 | 304 | 305 | 306 | 307 | 308 | 309 | 310 | 311 | 312 | 313 | 314 | 315 | 316 | 317 | 318 | TD91 | 319 | 320 | 321 | 322 | 323 | 324 | (ct)

401 | 402 | 403 | 404 | 405 | 406 | 407 | 408 | 409 | 410 | 411 | 412 | 413 | 414 | TIM | TD92 | 415 | 416 | 417 | 418 | 419 | 420 | 421 | 422 | 423 | 424 | (ct)

501 | 502 | 503 | 504 | 505 | 506 | 507 | 508 | 509 | 510 | 511 | 512 | 513 | 514 | 515 | 516 | TD93 | 517 | 518 | 519 | 520 | 521 | 522 | 523 | 524 | (ct)

601 | 602 | 603 | 604 | 605 | 606 | 607 | 608 | 609 | 610 | 611 | 612 | 613 | 614 | TD94 | 615 | 616 | 617 | 618 | 619 | 620 | 621 | 622 | 623 | LGSPS | 624 | P!1 | SB | (ct)

M01

TD95 | PPV | 701 | 702 | 703 | 704 | 705 | 706 | AV | (ct)

801 | 802 | 803 | 804 | 805 | 806 | 807 | 808 | 809 | 810 | 811 | 812 | 813 | 814 | 815 | TMO | 816 | SBR1 | 817 | 818 | 819 | 820 | 821 | 822 | P!2 | (ct)

PU | 901 | ARCAS | 902 | 903 | 904 | 905 | 906 | 907 | 908 | 909 | 910 | 911 | 912 | SBR2 | 913 | (ct)

1001 | 1002 | 1003 | 1004 | 1005 | 1006 | 1007 | 1008 | 1009 | 1010 | 1011 | 1012 | 1013 | LDR | (ct)

closing thoughts

Tealeaf's Tag-Alongs

K16 | K18 | K19 | 107 | 112 | 203 | 208 | 213 | 306 | 409

Fellow Travelers
A Warwilf Reflects

A Year in the Theater: One Fan's Journey (stopped at 317)
Yet Another Review Thread, This One By jjb3k (stopped at 306)


Mystery Science Theater 3000

0. K000 - The Green Slime
1. K001 - Invaders from the Deep
2. K002 - Revenge of the Mysterons from Mars
   
3. K003 - Star Force: Fugitive Alien II
4. K004 - Gamera vs Barugon
5. K005 - Gamera
6. K006 - Gamera vs Gaos
7. K007 - Gamera vs Zigra
8. K008 - Gamera vs Guiron
9. K009 - Phase IV
10. K010 - Cosmic Princess
11. K011 - Humanoid Woman
12. K012 - Fugitive Alien
13. K013 - SST- Death Flight
14. K014 - Mighty Jack
15. K015 - Superdome
16. K016 - City on Fire
17. K017 - Time of the Apes
18. K018 - The Million Eyes of Sumuru
19. K019 - Hangar 18
20. K020 - The Last Chase
21. K021 - The Legend of the Dinosaurs
22. 0101 - The Crawling Eye
23. 0102 - The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy
24. 0103 - The Mad Monster
25. 0105 - The Corpse Vanishes
26. 0106 - The Crawling Hand
27. 0107 - Robot Monster
28. 0108 - The Slime People
29. 0109 - Project Moon Base
30. 0110 - Robot Holocaust
31. 0111 - Moon Zero Two
32. 0112 - Untamed Youth
33. 0113 - The Black Scorpion
34. 0104 - Women of the Prehistoric Planet
35. 0201 - Rocketship X-M
36. 0202 - The Side Hackers
37. 0203 - Jungle Goddess
38. 0204 - Catalina Caper
39. 0205 - Rocket Attack U.S.A.
40. 0206 - Ring of Terror
41. 0207 - Wild Rebels
42. 0208 - Lost Continent
43. 0209 - The Hellcats
44. 0210 - King Dinosaur
45. 0211 - First Spaceship on Venus
46. 0212 - Godzilla vs. Megalon
47. 0213 - Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster
48. 0301 - Cave Dwellers
49. 0302 - Gamera
50. 0303 - Pod People
51. 0304 - Gamera vs Barugon
52. 0305 - Stranded in Space
53. 0306 - Time of the Apes
54. 0307 - Daddy-O
55. 0308 - Gamera vs Gaos
56. 0309 - The Amazing Colossal Man
57. 0310 - Fugitive Alien
58. 0311 - It Conquered the World
59. 0312 - Gamera vs Guiron
60. 0313 - Earth vs the Spider
61. 0314 - Mighty Jack
62. 0315 - Teenage Cave Man
63. 0316 - Gamera vs Zigra
64. 0317 - The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent
65. 0318 - Star Force: Fugitive Alien II
1. Turkey Day '91
66. 0319 - War of the Colossal Beast
67. 0320 - The Unearthly
68. 0321 - Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
69. 0322 - Master Ninja I
70. 0323 - The Castle of Fu Manchu
71. 0324 - Master Ninja II
72. 0401 - Space Travelers
73. 0402 - The Giant Gila Monster
74. 0403 - City Limits
75. 0404 - Teenagers from Outer Space
76. 0405 - Being from Another Planet
77. 0406 - Attack of the Giant Leeches
78. 0407 - The Killer Shrews
79. 0408 - Hercules Unchained
80. 0409 - The Indestructible Man
81. 0410 - Hercules Against the Moon Men
82. 0411 - The Magic Sword
83. 0412 - Hercules and the Captive Women
84. 0413 - Manhunt in Space
85. 0414 - Tormented
2. This Is MST3K
3. Turkey Day '92
86. 0415 - The Beatniks
87. 0416 - Fire Maidens of Outer Space
88. 0417 - Crash of Moons
89. 0418 - Attack of the the Eye Creatures
90. 0419 - The Rebel Set
91. 0420 - The Human Duplicators
92. 0421 - Monster A-Go Go
93. 0422 - The Day the Earth Froze
94. 0423 - Bride of the Monster
95. 0424 - Manos: The Hands of Fate
96. 0501 - Warrior of the Lost World
97. 0502 - Hercules
98. 0503 - Swamp Diamonds
99. 0504 - Secret Agent Super Dragon
100. 0505 - The Magic Voyage of Sinbad
101. 0506 - Eegah
102. 0507 - I Accuse My Parents
103. 0508 - Operation Double 007
104. 0509 - The Girl in Lovers Lane
105. 0510 - The Painted Hills
106. 0511 - Gunslinger
107. 0512 - Mitchell
108. 0513 - The Brain That Wouln't Die
109. 0514 - Teen-Age Strangler
110. 0515 - The Wild Wild World of Batwoman
111. 0516 - Alien from L.A.
4. Turkey Day '93
112. 0517 - Beginning of the End
113. 0518 - The Atomic Brain
114. 0519 - Outlaw
115. 0520 - Radar Secret Service
116. 0521 - Santa Claus
117. 0522 - Teen-Age Crime Wave
118. 0523 - Village of the Giants
119. 0524 - 12 to the Moon
120. 0601 - Girls Town
121. 0602 - Invasion USA
122. 0603 - The Dead Talk Back
123. 0604 - Zombie Nightmare
124. 0605 - Colossus and the Headhunters
125. 0606 - The Creeping Terror
126. 0607 - Bloodlust!
127. 0608 - Code Name: Diamond Head
128. 0609 - The Skydivers
129. 0610 - The Violent Years
130. 0611 - Last of the Wild Horses
131. 0612 - The Starfighters
132. 0613 - The Sinister Urge
133. 0614 - San Francisco International
5. Turkey Day '94
134. 0615 - Kitten with a Whip
135. 0616 - Racket Girls
136. 0617 - The Sword and the Dragon
137. 0618 - High School Big Shot
138. 0619 - Red Zone Cuba
139. 0620 - Danger!! Death Ray
140. 0621 - The Beast of Yucca Flats
141. 0622 - Angels Revenge
142. 0623 - The Amazing Transparent Man
6. MST3K Little Gold Statue Preview Special
143. 0624 - Samson vs. the Vampire Women
7. Poopie!
8. The MST Scrapbook
   
144. M001 - This Island Earth
9. Turkey Day '95
   
10. Poopie Parade of Values
145. 0701 - Night of the Blood Beast
146. 0702 - The Brute Man
147. 0703 - Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell
148. 0704 - The Incredible Melting Man
149. 0705 - Escape 2000
150. 0706 - Laserblast
11. Assignment: Venezuela
151. 0801 - Revenge of the Creature
152. 0802 - The Leech Woman
153. 0803 - The Mole People
154. 0804 - The Deadly Mantis
155. 0805 - The Thing That Couldn't Die
156. 0806 - The Undead
157. 0807 - Terror from the Year 5000
158. 0808 - The She-Creature
159. 0809 - I Was a Teenage Werewolf
160. 0810 - The Giant Spider Invasion
161. 0811 - Parts: The Clonus Horror
162. 0812 - The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?
163. 0813 - Jack Frost
164. 0814 - Riding with Death
165. 0815 - Agent for H.A.R.M.
12. The Making of Mystery Science Theater 3000
166. 0816 - Prince of Space
13. 1st Annual Mystery Science Theater 3000 Summer Blockbuster Review
167. 0817 - The Horror of Party Beach
168. 0818 - Devil Doll
169. 0819 - Invasion of the Neptune Men
170. 0820 - Space Mutiny
171. 0821 - Time Chasers
172. 0822 - Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
14. Poopie! II
15. Playstation Underground
173. 0901 - The Projected Man
16. MST3K's Academy of Robots' Choice Awards Special
174. 0902 - The Phantom Planet
175. 0903 - The Pumaman
176. 0904 - Werewolf
177. 0905 - The Deadly Bees
178. 0906 - The Space Children
179. 0907 - Hobgoblins
180. 0908 - The Touch of Satan
181. 0909 - Gorgo
182. 0910 - The Final Sacrifice
183. 0911 - Devil Fish
184. 0912 - The Screaming Skull
17. 2nd Annual Mystery Science Theater 3000 Summer Blockbuster Review
185. 0913 - Quest of the Delta Knights
186. 1001 - Soultaker
187. 1002 - Girl in Gold Boots
188. 1003 - Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
189. 1004 - Future War
190. 1005 - Blood Waters of Dr. Z
191. 1006 - Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues…
192. 1007 - Track of the Moon Beast
193. 1008 - Final Justice
194. 1009 - Hamlet: Prinz von Dänemark
195. 1010 - It Lives by Night
196. 1011 - Horrors of Spider Island
197. 1012 - Squirm
198. 1013 - Diabolik
18. The Last Dance - Raw